This post is a part of my series looking into health and what we can do to keep ourselves healthy, while still enjoying life.
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If insomnia is something that I am destined to suffer, then at least I can try and enjoy it. This current balmy weather we are experiencing in the UK is perfect for late night walks. Although having time to think is probably something that is dangerous for sufferers of anxiety, it is better to do it while out enjoying a nice walk than to lay in bed awake all night letting the demons in.
The worst thing I find with my insomnia is that it has such a huge impact on my behaviour, especially the way I act around other people. I have discussed these issues with my friends in the past but, although they are supportive, I’m not sure they are really equipped to understand. I don’t blame them for this, after all, there are many behaviours exhibited by others that I cannot understand. Even as a sufferer of anxiety and depression I have a hard time really understanding the way it affects others. If we cannot understand our own feelings we cannot really expect others to.
One of my biggest fears is that people, however much they say they love you and however many times they say you can always talk to them, will eventually get bored or fed-up with your problems. I have recently gone very quiet with my best friend because I am scared that I have told her too much. We don’t really speak other than to say hello, I am basically avoiding contact with her at this point. This is clearly unhealthy for a relationship, but I really don’t know how to deal with the situation. I am actually hoping I can get out and use my sleeplessness as some thinking time to try and deal with this issue.
Over time I have come to respect insomnia as something that can actually benefit me to some degree, after all, everything I have tried to fix it has failed, may as well embrace it.
Photo by Simon Robben from Pexels
These Odd Thoughts 